3, 2, 1 blast off...

I turned 30 on Thursday. I felt sad on the eve of my birthday and on the day of my birthday, even though Mike took me out to lunch on my birthday - it was great but I just couldn't celebrate - there was nothing to celebrate... I blame it all on my anxiety over our house renovations which the plastering should have been done this week - but the guy we hired to do it has been sick this week and hasn't started! AHHHH!! I am going to give birth in about 10 weeks and we have no home! Our hallway STILL looks like this:
and our bathroom STILL looks like this:...and we need more money from the bank to get the job done! Because everything costs more than what you anticipated! Which is putting alot of stress on Mike and I financially.

Now tell me how you would feel about turning 30, nearly 30 weeks pregnant, having a toddler who hates his Mummy at the moment (everyone else is nicer and more fun), have a house that looks like a bomb has blasted into it and can't go home to, living off the kindness of parents and invading their home for way too long now, begging the bank to lend us a few more K's just so we can afford to put carpet and blinds in the bedrooms, thus bumping up our morgage more, a birthday gift from Mike which is on hold because we can't afford it and feeling FAT and SO helpless because I can't work to contribute to our finances or even help out Mike with the odd jobs that need to be done on the house. Instead I come here and vent it out on blogspot! How productive am I!

For the first time I wished I wasn't pregnant... because we wouldn't be in this situation and I could celebrate my 30th in big style - lots of champagne and soft cheeses!

...how horrible to think that.. I know...how selfish of me...

...but I had a good cry and a talk with dear hubby. (he's just as stressed as I am and he is juggling teaching, painting 2 commissions, painting for his exhibitions next year and entering art prizes and residency's so we have an extra income as well as trying to boost his career. And on top of all that, doing odd jobs on the house on the weekends like laying down the rest of the hallway floorboards, pulling out nails from the studs, pulling off the old doors and door jams, riping off the old cornices in the rooms, picking up our new doors, timber, and being very concerned with not being able to spend his weekends doing fun things with Morri & I.) :(

We came to the conclusion that, hey, what the F*%k can we do about it! - we've just got to hope that the house is finished in time for us to move back in and get Baby's room and Morri's room set up, and eat baked beans for a while!

29 weeks

I have been feeling really hungry lately - I read that in the 3rd trimester the nutritional needs of Baby increase as their brains develop rapidly and need more calcium for their growing bones! No wonder I feel like cheese all of a sudden!

Got the snores!

Oh no, my hubby told me last night that I have been snoring the last couple of nights! I am not a snorer and I am not a fan of others snoring too. Pregnancy does this to me.

I remember going for a lymphatic drainage massage - it was mainly for research purposes for my Remedial Massage course I was doing at the time, but I fell asleep during it as you do when you get a massage. I caught myself giving out a loud snort which woke me up! I felt quite stupid but pretended that I didn't notice I had done it.

I apologised to Mike about my snoring but he told me it didn't bother him, in fact it was quite cute! CUTE? huh? I told him that he is such a better person than me for this - because I hate it whenever he snores or breathes loudly whilst asleep next to me! I nudge him or cover his face - sorry Mike - I am so horrible to you sometimes! Is he tolerant to my snoring because he is a male and those things are frequently done by males? Like for instance farting or weeing on the toilet seat or using your towel to dry themselves rather than theres? (Mike just read this and he thinks I am bagging him out! - am I? see they are in denial again - refusing to accept their flaws! he he he) But on the whole scale of things, my husband tolerates and accepts all my insecurities, obsessions, crazy mood swings and peculiar ways of thinking that sometimes I can't even tolerate these traits myself!

Cats.

The house is quiet but our cat Leo - seems to be dreaming - he just gave out 5 loud meows in his sleep - how weird! He has been missing for 5 days. He turned up early this morning meowing out the front of my parent's bathroom window. Been a weird day today for cats... my childhood cat Pipi passed away in the middle of the night. She lived to a grand age of 23 years - thats 170 years in cat age! The last couple days her body just seemed to shut down. She couldn't manage to take her regular walk to the lawn where she would sit in the sun and do her business and drink out the fountain at the pond. Her legs could no longer carry her fraile old body. We would find her stranded in the middle of the lawn looking like she could not walk back to her bed. We had to keep bringing her back to her bed. We gave her water to drink but she didn't want to eat. We knew it was any day that should would die. She stopped looking after herself along time ago - and her fur began matting and falling out - she looked like death! But she was still strong.
Pipi was one of 3 other kittens in a litter we found trapped under our house when my sister, brother & I were young. My dad rescued them as the mother was nowhere to be found. So we adopted them. We fed them with cow's milk from a suringe and they slept at the base of our fridge as it was warm. The ginger kitten died soon after - as it seemed sick. We revived the long-haired tabby named 'Sugar'. We found her lifeless one morning so we stuck her on the ducted heating and she came back to life! We saved Pipi's life as she was the most strongest kitten out the the 3 from choking on the rubber tubing attached to the suringe while feeding her milk!

On the home stretch now!

Into my final trimester now, I feel like this pregnancy has flown by... Baby has turned itself around and is now head down - I anticipated this as I could feel the baby feeling uncomfortable having is bum pointing down. Anatomically - the space closest to the exit point for this newborn is alot narrower than the top of the uterus - it would make sense to lodge one's head in a smaller space than the rest of the body!! Then again there are the minute unborn bubs who choose keep their bottoms face down!! Knowing that baby is in the head down position puts my mind at ease - I was anxious about this with Morri and I was anxious with this Baby too! phewh! Now my next worry is that Baby's face is facing the right way when its time to birth- facing my anus!!

I remember the time when Morri was still growing inside me I felt him turn into the head down position. It was the middle of the night and I was half asleep and I could feel him 'scampering' with all his might to turn upside down.
The movements of Baby are so strong now - this morning while in the car Baby decided to stretch out one of its limbs into my right side just under my ribcage - WOW it gave me a good jolt! I am very ticklish and I get the giggles whenever this happens - I even catch myself laughing in the middle of the night if Baby starts moving about! Baby is tickling me at this moment while typing this. he he he!